Gale Force

Have you ever seen perfection?  Allow me to show you.

I stopped by my local IFA store at lunch today to pick up a bag of Fall Blend fertilizer for my rather anemic-looking lawn.  As if being guided from above, I happened to glance at the candy rack where I beheld this confectionary marvel.  I have long been a fan of the Pearson’s Nut Roll — in fact, I consider myself to be somewhat of a nut roll connoisseur.  I have gone through life thinking that the original Pearson’s Nut Roll was the ultimate combination of sugary, salty goodness — never to be outdone by the likes of PayDay, Mr. Goodbar or any *scoff* pecan log.  Little did I suspect that the company to de-throne the Nut Roll would be the same company who created it.

Pearson’s, I tip my hat to you.  You have truly outdone yourselves…with a simple layer of delicious milk chocolate.  My only plaint is the two taunting words emblazoned within the golden ribbon: Limited Edition.  Obviously this treat is not one to be taken for granted, and with a saddened heart I understand that the Chocolate Nut Roll will not be here forever.  Fortunately for me, my IFA store has a large supply on hand and according to this site:

“The average shelf for a chocolate candy bar is anywhere up to six (6) months “

Food storage anyone?

This weekend was the big Orem city summer festival, or Summerfest, as they like to call it. My family and I took in all that it had to offer including the 5k Fireman’s race, the Rotary Club breakfast, the booths, food and fireworks…and of course the CARNIVAL! I love the annual invasion of the carnies…strange people from strange lands coming to your town to amuse ripoff, entertain swindle and bedazzle jade the locals (or “townies” as we’re affectionately known).

Although I doubt there is a formal application process to become a carny, I am convinced that if there were it would look something like this:

Section I: About You
Name or Alias:
Age or rough approximation:
Address (N/A acceptable):
Highest grade level completed (circle one): 2 3 4 5

Section II: Please Answer the Following Questions
Do you like children Y N
Do you have any experience around or near children Y N
Do you have any children of your own Y N

If you answered Yes to any of the previous questions, we’re sorry but we are unable to accept your application at this time.

Seriously though…I did not catch even the briefest suggestion of a hint of a smile from any of the Carnival staff the entire day! Where do they get these people (OK I doubt I really want to know the answer to that)? I swear there’s a massive untapped market for Carnivals where the operators are 1) friendly 2) can speak English 3) have most of their teeth and 4) have a wardrobe consisting of more than wife-beaters and jean shorts. But what do I know…

In parting I would like to share a few informative links:

• Carny Lingo - The Ultimate List
• Carny Entry on Wikipedia
• Photos tagged “carny” on Flickr

Can’t wait until next year…

I’m not sure how it evolved, but over the years my friends and I have come up with Garbage-Pail-esque names for many of the restaurants around town. We generally use this alternative naming convention (ANC) when we’re trying to decide where to go to lunch. A typical conversation might sound like this:

“So where do you want to eat today?”

“How about Taco Smell.”

“Nahh…we ate there earlier this week…maybe Pizza Slut?”

This invariably goes on for 15-20 minutes before a decision is finally made, but I thought it would be fun to document all of our alternative restaurant names for your reading enjoyment.

• Of course there’s the afore mentioned Taco Smell and Pizza Slut
• Up-Chuck-a-Rama
• Sindy’s
• Burger Schwing
• Up-Chuck E Cheese (let’s be honest…anyone that used “Chuck” in their restaurant name was asking for it)
• Scary Queen
• Barftic Circle
• El Pollo Grosso
• Grodey Yogi
• Papa Cajones
• Sbarrfo
• Wienerschnitzel (no alternate necessary…I giggle every time I hear it)
• Appalling Burger (Apollo Burger)

Do you have any “pet names” for places you like (or dis-like) to eat?

We went all out on Jachin’s birthday party this year. After being inspired by another mom who put on a sweet Mario party I was confident I could do something similar (the confidence faded quickly).

First I made the invitations using some awesome graphics I found on the Nintendo website and the ever-cool Super Mario Bros. font. I also created some “coin boxes” using 4″x4″x4″ boxes that I purchased from Uline. I used this Question Mark Brick graphic, scaled it to 4″x4″ and printed them 4 per page then attached them to the boxes using a glue stick. Once the boxes were done I put the invitation, some easter grass (don’t ask me why) and some bubble-gum coins (chocolate coins were preferred but too expensive) inside and had Jachin deliver them to all of his friends. While I was going I made several extra boxes to use as decorations for the party.

Whew…invitations done…on to the cakes!

Being the lazy efficient person I am, I chose two Mario characters that would be easy to re-create in cake-ity goodness. First, the innocuous Goomba. He’s brown (chocolate icing) and he’s mushroom shaped (no artistic skills required). Next up, Blooper. He’s white (vanilla icing) and squid-shaped with few defining features (again…no artistic skills required). Perfect! Here’s the inspiration and the final product:

You should know that I have neither expertise nor skill in the area of cake decoration. For those of you who actually know how to decorate cakes, I apologize for my amateurish foray into your world. Case in point…the ultimate Mario cake. /bow “I’m not worthy”.

Invitations, check. Cakes, check. On to the piñata.

Desirous to have all aspects of the party stick to the Mario theme we decided to make a Chain Chomp piñata. We found a basic round smiley face piñata and painted it to look like a menacing Chain Chomp! The kids loved it.

Invitations, cakes, piñatas oh my. By this point I was exhausted and frankly I had lost some of my ambition. I had big ideas for cool party games but we just didn’t have the time to do them justice. In the end we let the kids decorate their own “coin boxes”, we played “pin the star”, we broke the piñata then we let the kids play some old-school Super Mario Bros. (including a “who can complete world 1-1 the fastest” contest).

Overall I think it was a big success. The kids had fun and I’m sure Jachin will remember this birthday for years to come. I have posted all of the party pictures online in the Gallery so feel free to browse them there!

“I’m sorry but our princess is in another castle….”