This weekend was the big Orem city summer festival, or Summerfest, as they like to call it. My family and I took in all that it had to offer including the 5k Fireman’s race, the Rotary Club breakfast, the booths, food and fireworks…and of course the CARNIVAL! I love the annual invasion of the carnies…strange people from strange lands coming to your town to amuse ripoff, entertain swindle and bedazzle jade the locals (or “townies” as we’re affectionately known).

Although I doubt there is a formal application process to become a carny, I am convinced that if there were it would look something like this:

Section I: About You
Name or Alias:
Age or rough approximation:
Address (N/A acceptable):
Highest grade level completed (circle one): 2 3 4 5

Section II: Please Answer the Following Questions
Do you like children Y N
Do you have any experience around or near children Y N
Do you have any children of your own Y N

If you answered Yes to any of the previous questions, we’re sorry but we are unable to accept your application at this time.

Seriously though…I did not catch even the briefest suggestion of a hint of a smile from any of the Carnival staff the entire day! Where do they get these people (OK I doubt I really want to know the answer to that)? I swear there’s a massive untapped market for Carnivals where the operators are 1) friendly 2) can speak English 3) have most of their teeth and 4) have a wardrobe consisting of more than wife-beaters and jean shorts. But what do I know…

In parting I would like to share a few informative links:

Can’t wait until next year…

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