Gale Force

I’ve decided to add a new feature to my blog. I know I know…my witty commentary on life combined with my intelligent writing style doesn’t leave much room for improvement…but I’m a progressive-ist. With that said, I am officially introducing the “Gale Force Seal Of Approval” feature to the site. What is this “GFSoA” you say? Well it’s my way of telling you, the humble internet tube-surfer, those things that I deem “cool”, “hip” or otherwise worthy of your attention and/or consumer dollars. So on with it already….

Today’s GFSoA award goes to Sennheiser for their super-awesome PMX 70 headphones.  Here’s what Sennheiser’s marketing folks have to say about these beauties:

Short Description

The rugged stereo neckband headphones fit comfortably behind the neck. The moisture-resistant construction makes these headphones the ideal sports companion.

Features

Ergonomic neckband and vertical transducer system
Powerful neodymium magnets for detailed sound
Sweat and water-resistant
Extremely rugged earphones and cable
Accessories: cable clip

If I had just one gripe about the iPod it would be that the first time I took my brand new 30GB video iPod out jogging it broke.  Boy, that sadPod icon really IS sad…I almost cried.  If I had two gripes about the iPod, gripe #2 would be that the earbud headphones don’t stay in my ears and are, for me, practically useless.  With a mounting collection of useless Apple earbud headphones I set out to find the perfect replacements.  My requirements were simple:

1. Would be good for working out
2. Would stay in my ears (seems like a reasonable requirement)
3. Had a cool day-glo green headphone cord
4. Sounded better than my current $4 behind-the-neck headphones

After a few Google searches I started to notice a pattern…Sennheiser’s new line of “Sport” headphones kept showing up.  All the reviews I read were favorable so the decision was an easy one.  The only hard part was choosing between the PMX 70 and the OMX 70, which is an over-ear design as opposed to the behind-the-neck variety.  I’ve never had a problem with the behind-the-neck headphones so I settled on the PMX 70 and placed my order. 

Now that I’ve had the headphones for a few days I can tell you that I’m utterly thrilled with my purhcase!  The sound is fantastic and they stay put during even the most rigorous workouts.  The ONLY thing (and honestly it’s hardly worth mentioning) that annoys me slightly, is the fact that the headphone cord came rolled up (see picture above).  After a few days of use the cord is still coiled and has a phone-cord spring effect thing going on.  I’m sure it will relax over time but for now it’s a mild annoyance…but that’s hardly enough to keep Sennheiser from receiving the very first GFSoA award!  Congratulations!

I’ve been sick for nearly a week.  When I’m sick I don’t feel like doing much of anything…working, exercising, playing or writing on my blog.

There are 3 people I don’t like today.

1.  Baron Davis. While he is arguably one of the best point guards in the NBA his cheap shot to former teammate Derek Fisher in Utah’s rout over the Dubs (what the locals like to call the Warriors) last night was completely uncalled for.  What’s worse is how this is being covered in the press today:

“Fisher dropped to the floor in a heap after a scary collision with Davis with 1:37 left, but eventually got up to finish the game. ”

http://www.nba.com/games/20070513/UTAGSW/recap.html 

“Scary collision” my butticles!  Davis was frustrated after a 6-16 shooting night against the dominant Jazz defense and he took it out on one of the nicest guys in the NBA.   Sorry GREG BEACHAM, an elbow to the side of the head is not a scary collision…your words imply accidental or incidental contact — it most certainly was not.

And Davis, I know you’re reading this,  we didn’t pull that kind of crap during game 3 on Friday night when we watched your team drop 15 3 pointers on your way to a 20 point victory.  We held our poise, maintained our dignity and lost with good sportsmanship.  You could learn a thing or two.

2.  Jason Richardson for the flagrant foul against Mehmet Okur with 0:37 left in the game and 3.  Doug Collins for having the audacity to blame the situation on Okur - “you shouldn’t drive to the basket in a situation like this”.  In a situation like what?!  Like when playing a BASKETBALL GAME?  I’m no NBA coach or anything…but when the shot clock is winding down, you try to make a basket!  Okur drove in, Richardson went WWF on him and somehow that’s Okur’s fault?!  I guess it’s the 7-11 owner’s fault every time he gets robbed too…right Collins?

All drama and playground tomfoolery aside, the Jazz are looking good in the Playoffs.  They have yet to lose a game at home and there isn’t a team left (save the NJ Nets) that the Jazz didn’t  beat or tie during the regular season.  I officially revise my Utah Jazz Playoff Prediction to have them winning the NBA Title in 5 versus the Detroit Pistons!  Take that Jazz haters!

I realized today that I am very dependent on a few really nifty tools to get my work done. As a developer I am inherently lazy so I need tools that let me get things done quickly and efficiently. I assume many of you are also developers and lazy so today I’m going to open up my web developer’s toolbox and show you what’s inside in hopes that I can inspire you to reach your full laze potential.

Firefox

If you’re not developing your web sites in Firefox, you should be.

Firefox AddOns That Rock My Socks

Everyone has their list of “best Firefox addons ever”. I’m no different from them except I’m way cooler. So here is my list:

• Web Developer Toolbar - The swiss-army knife of toolbars. It does everything including page validation, real-time CSS editing, form pre-population, DOM inspection etc etc etc. Trust me, you need this.
• Firebug - Ever tried to debug JavaScript without it? Are you a sadist? Seriously go download this right now if you don’t have it already. When you’re back go read this and this.
• QuickProxy - There are a few sites that I work on routinely that are only accessible through an SSH SOCKS proxy. I use QuickProxy to easily switch the Proxy on/off. Fewer clicks = more lazy (this is a good thing).
• GreaseMonkey - Ever since I wrote my first only GM script I’ve been hooked on phonics GreaseMonkey. For those of you who have been living under a rock for the past several years, GreaseMonkey lets you inject your own JavaScript code into any webpage so you can customize your user experience. Check out all the cool scripts at Userscripts.org.
• Adblock Plus + Filterset.G Updater - I seriously cannot remember the last time I saw an Advertisement on a webpage. I know there are a lot of people who don’t like ADP because they make their livelyhoods from web advertising. I am not one of those people.
• FavIconize Tab - Real estate on my tab bar is a precious commodity so I use FavIconize Tab to only display the favicon of sites I visit frequently. Cool.

XAMPP

Need a complete WAMP solution without all the hassle of multiple packages, configuration woes and perhaps even *horror* compiling stuff? Look no further than XAMPP from Apache Friends. Their package contains the latest and greatest Apache, MySQL and PHP (both v4 and v5 support) all in an easy-to-use installable package. They also throw in some other goodies like an FTP server and PHPMyAdmin. Ever since I discovered XAMPP I do all of my testing and development locally before deploying to a staging server.

A Desktop Shortcut to Edit Your HOSTS File

What do you mean you don’t have one of these yet? Any good web developer needs to edit his/her HOSTS file frequently. Why are you still doing it the hard way: Explorer > C:/ > C:/WINDOWS > C:/WINDOWS/SYSTEM32 > C:/WINDOWS/SYSTEM32/drivers > C:/WINDOWS/SYSTEM32/drivers/etc > Right-click hosts > Open With > Notepad. Whew! Instead try something like this:

Double click that baby and your off and editing! BTW I use gvim instead of notepad because it makes me feel good. If you’re confused about what you’re seeing above, do this: Go to your Desktop. Right click > New > Shortcut. Enter “notepad c:/windows/system32/drivers/etc/hosts” as the location then click Next. Give it a name and you’re done! Double-click when you need to edit your HOSTS file.

A Good IDE

I use Zend Studio but I wouldn’t hold it against anyone for using Eclipse. The point is you need a good IDE to develop quickly! There are probably some purists out there that will extol the virtues of “Notepad coding” — or typing everything by hand. This is complete crap. Get an editor that does auto-completion, tag insight, tag highlighting and sports a full debugger.

Colorpic

Simple but awesome. How often do you need to find out what color that was on that site you just visited. Enter Colorpic. (Not on my list but also cool is Screen Calipers from the maker of Colorpic)

ScreenHunter

You need screenshots! You need them in your documentation, you need them to attach to emails, you need them to post on your blog, you need them to corroborate your stories. ScreenHunter is an unobtrusive screen capture utility that sports full-screen capture, area capture, timed capture, JPG, GIF and BMP support amidst a whole slew of other features. Did I mention it’s free?

Launchy

Nevermind…I’ve decided I don’t like Launchy all that well.

So there you have it. My toolbox opened for the world to see. I hope this post spawns an army of eager web developers ready to code the next killer web two-point-oh site.

Jon Gale is currently employed by nextSTAT and spends his days looking for tools and tricks that will let him express his inner slackitude. He enjoys rousing games of badmitton and has had a goatee for over 10 years.

<disclaimer>I work for NextSTAT. I am NOT an impartial bystander</disclaimer>

For a company whose unofficial slogan is “don’t be evil” Google has just made their most evil, diabolical move to date. THEY STOLE MY (employer’s) TAGLINE! So what gives Goog? I let slide the fact that your cookies don’t expire until 2038. I turned a blind eye when you purchased Urchin and gave away the service for free (future blog post incoming on this one). I pretended I didn’t hear the news that you wanted to buy DoubleClick. But this…this has gone too far!

Allow me to introduce my evidence:

Exhibit A: The NextSTAT logo that has been around for at least 2 years. Note the TM appearing next to the logo and tagline.

Exhibit B: A screenshot from the Google Analytics product tour.

“the next generation web analytics tool”? I cry foul! That’s my line…and you stole it! I demand justice! Can you tell from my excessive use of exclamation marks that I’m morally outraged?

Google, as much as I enjoy your well-engineered products (especially Google Reader <3 <3), I can no longer remain silent in the face of your evil deeds. My blog, and the 13 people who have ever read it, will fight you to the bitter end**.

That is all.

** Jon Gale has not received the support of his blog audience in his crusade against the evil-doings of Google.

At work last week I set up some MRTG reports to monitor our MySQL servers. I used the handy mrtg-mysql-load utility to get queries/slow queries information but I also needed to monitor the number of records in a particular table and graph it using MRTG. For those unfamiliar with MRTG, graphing “custom” data is very simple. All you need to do is write a script that outputs 4 lines:

Line 1 -current state of the first variable, normally ‘incoming bytes count’
Line 2 -current state of the second variable, normally ‘outgoing bytes count’
Line 3 -string (in any human readable format), telling the uptime of the target.
Line 4 -string, telling the name of the target.

So I created a simple script to get the record count from a particular table:

Which I would call passing the MySQL database host as the first argument. Once I had the script I added a new MRTG target like this:

You’ll notice that I’m adding the totals from 3 different servers to graph a single sum value in MRTG. Any mathematical expression can be used to generate your graph values. From the manual:

You can also combine several target definitions in a mathematical expression. Any syntactically correct expression that the Perl interpreter can evaluate to will work. An expression could be used, for example, to aggregate both B channels in an ISDN connection or to calculate the percentage hard disk utilization of a server from the absolute used space and total capacity.

For a graph like this you’ll want to use similar options to the ones I used above. nopercent disables percentage display, growright tells the graph to read from left to right instead of the default right to left, gauge tell MRTG that the data points are “current status” measurements rather than ever-increasing counters, noi tells MRTG there is no “input” data to compare against “output” data and a few cosmetic display options. The resulting graph looks something like this:

So there you go…a quick and easy way to monitor entries in a MySQL table using MRTG.

Wow…2 “roundup” posts in as many weeks. You may think I’m losing my penchant for coming up with original blog content. You’re probably right. So on with the show:

Lego + Religion = Awesome!

“Rev. Smith has stated that the goal of The Brick Testament is to give people an increased knowledge of the contents of The Bible in a way that is fun and compelling while staying very true to the original versions. To this end, all stories are retold using direct quotes from The Bible.”

There isn’t a subject matter in the world that can’t be made more interesting with a few buckets of Lego! You don’t want to miss: Moses Commits Murder or Paul Circumcises New Companion (ouch!)

New Meat Cuts

“It’s no secret that grocery stores are adding coffee bars, mouthwatering boulangeries, even sushi bars in hopes of wooing increasingly discerning consumers who want high-quality food without hours of preparation.

The same is true in the butcher case, where a combination of improved butchering techniques and marketing magic have generated new, attractively named cuts of meat designed to appeal to flavor- and time-conscious cooks.

And now these cutting-edge cuts — which include the flatiron, the Western griller, ranch steak and petite tender, to name a few — even are showing up on restaurant menus.”

You’d think by now they would have cut up a cow just about every way imaginable…guess not. Hooray for progress!

Nerdliest Credit Card

“Accrue World of Warcraft gametime at the rate of 1% of every dollar in qualifying purchases. The World of Warcraft Rewards Visa is the only card that pays you to play. “

I thought for sure I’d have some witty comment ready to add to the end of this story…but alas /got nuttin.

GO JAZZ! Didn’t I say they’d extend this series to seven and give themselves a great chance to advance to round 2? Oh, that’s right…I wrote about them losing in 6. My reverse-psychology motivational ploy worked like a charm! AK, Dee-dub, Booz, Harp — I got your backs.

So picture this…I’m at the game last night and it’s the 4th quarter in a win-or-die game for the Jazz. I had watched a 10 point lead dwindle down to one as the Rockets made an admirable attempt to close out the series. The Jazz came out of a timeout and went on a little rally that got them back up by seven. On their next trip down the court Memo (MONEY!) Okur got the kickout pass while hanging out behind the 3-point line and let it fly. I prayed yesterday that his shot would come back to him (not really) and sure enough…nothing but net! The crowd went insane.

Then it happened…

The guy in seat 6 jumped up and started dishing out the high-fives. I’m talking full-fledged, hard-as-you-can, hand stinging, in-your-face, “am-I-going-to-be-in-the-evening-news” high fives. First the guy on his left, then 2 people in the row behind us, then the drunk bearded guy from row 15. I could tell they were all friends having shared neighboring seats throughout the entire season.

Then I did it…I raised my hand toward him.

I didn’t know this guy from Adam but I was compelled to join in on the celebration. In the split second it took for his hand to reach up and slap mine, I saw the look. The “who-does-this-guy-think-he-is?” look. It was awkward.

You know…I guess it wouldn’t be so bad if the Jazz lost game 7. Some of the guys look like they could use a break and I’m sure they have some nice family activities lined up for the summer. Oh..and I’d never have to see the guy in seat 6 again.

Don’t forget that today is National Day of Prayer.  In other news, there’s a National Day of Prayer…they even have their own task force.  Now what exactly does the NDP task force do?  The name seems a bit oxymoronic…”task force” evokes images of Navy Seals or a S.W.A.T. team breaking down your down, tossing in a few concussion grenades, running around in their really cool combat gear while yelling at the top of their lungs: “GET ON THE GROUND!”.  I guess that’s what the NDP task force does but instead of Navy Seals it’s Bishops and Priests gently knocking on your door, waiting for you to answer then yelling “GET ON YOUR KNEES!   NOW!  DON’T MAKE ME TELL YOU AGAIN!” all while waving a censer in your face so the incense smoke will confuse you.  Anything to get the American public to pray I guess.

So what will you be praying for today?

My 7 year old son has just published his first blog post. I thought I was worried when my wife started blogging, now my son’s trying to horn in on my wobby (I just invented the word wobby - it means a Web Hobby. So says I). The worst part is that even he’s a better writer than I am — I mean that post about the concrete…it was poignant, concise and the grammar was excellent! I guess it’s true what they say…you know the one about how your kids steal your wobbies, make you look unintelligent and then make you pay for their college.

Hey 5 year old daughter of mine…where can I read YOUR blog?